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As much as I love hanging out with straight men, I’ve never been a fan of the ones who go to gay bars solely to meet women.Sure they may have less competition there, but don’t they already rule the rest of the earth?In Study 3, exposing women to a visualization of increased mating competition enhanced their trust in gay men; when mating competition was salient, women’s trust in mating information from a gay man was amplified.Study 4 showed that women who perceived higher levels of mating competition were more open to befriending gay men.Even Grindr, which, for many, has replaced going out as the best way to meet eligible gay men, is no longer a hook-up app just for gay men. There’s no way around them, but every time one messages me, I find myself appreciating those suspicious bouncers who are so dedicated to deterring straight men from entering gay premises, even if it means weeding out — or insulting — some of their target patrons.
It was nice to order a drink and not be squeezed aside by any messy bachelorette parties bulldozing their way to the bartender.Years ago, back in the roaring ’90s, I had what turned out to be one of the most memorable and most infuriating nightlife experiences of my 15 years in New York City. “Sorry, but this party is for gay men only.” We pleaded with him to bend the rules just that once. The bouncer was firm: I was welcome, but my friends weren’t.The action unfolded at Sound Factory, an after-hours dance party for gay men, where I’d gone for some boozy early morning fun with my friends Laura and Brian. We started to mouth off, and Brian became a bit belligerent.They can get lucky by hitting any of the myriad straight bars in any city … or by walking down the street pretty much anywhere?I certainly would rather not have to keep stumbling over them on Grindr.