Internet dating a personal survival guide
When I get asked how to date men in an era that is supercharged with an anti-male sentiment, it’s not enough for me to say “don’t worry, there are some great guys out there!
”It’s true, but it feels like that response falls short when what we really could use is a much bigger conversation about what needs to happen for women to start feeling like they have more choice out there in the dating world.
You may see a downtick in your number of likes or matches, but I hope, like my clients, you see an uptick in the number of guys who are ready to be the kind of partner you want.
A big concern right now is figuring out how much you have to educate potential dates about feminism.
I require a huge, psychic space around me so I can breathe.
Especially if we collectively show that we’re seeking partners who understand systemic sexism and gender-based violence and who can not only act as allies but actively participate in destroying the structures that keep us from equality.This will be intimidating to the kinds of men who are a terrible fit for you.You get to filter out guys whose ideals and values don’t align with yours, and they will (mostly) leave you alone.When I coach women who are online dating, and I tell them to put their feminism and their demands upfront, I see the fear in their eyes, and they tell me how anxious the thought makes them.When we dig into why this is scary, most of them say that they are afraid of limiting their options.