Dating rejection after divorce
In the dating market, this can translate into a broken relationship.
At the core, inaccurate social pricing is a by-product of low self-esteem and other negative self-emotions. "It can be the fear of being hurt, rejected or involved, and it can stem from a history of having been hurt or of traumatic relationships.
That self-blame usually leads us to feel rejected, like we are not worthy of love as we start this new chapter in our lives. The one that reflects the wise and strong person you are? You know this, so you probably just laugh and continue enjoying yourself. The fact that somebody doesn’t want to be with you anymore has nothing to do with you—it has everything to do with the craziness the rejecter is projecting on to you. And your reaction to that rejection—the one where you wonder what you did wrong, or why they don’t love you anymore, is nothing more than the silly stretched head and widened body you see in the silly mirror. Instead of staying in the prison of rejection, thinking that it defines who you are, you move away from it, focus on what makes you feel good, what you are proud of in this life, and everything that you have accomplished.
Many times, we think that we are to blame for the fact that our decades-long marriage ended. So instead of just standing in front of the mirror, worrying how it makes you look, go ahead and step away from it, because it has nothing to do with you.
First, it's important to set appropriate personal standards.
In particular, will you play hard to get or be an easy catch?
"You get this feeling that you're in the worst possible situation in your life," Broder explains.
But now I realize these things were actually a HUGE blessing in disguise.
After years of being in a relationship, putting yourself back in the singles market can be a daunting endeavor. After 19 years of waking up next to the same person, Yolanda*, a marketing consultant, suddenly found herself greeting mornings alone.
Recently divorced, she was overwhelmed by the mere thought of dating again.
So just as we tend to assume that expensive cars are better than similar, cheaper ones, we may also conclude that those demonstrating high social prices have unobserved qualities superior to those with lower social prices. For instance, individuals with a substantial income but little else to offer may exaggerate their social price.
And as with any type of price misrepresentation, true quality eventually surfaces.