Dating for two and a half years
So I wasn’t wrong.”***I thought about my little project often as Daniel and I continued to date.Sometimes it reassured me—perhaps we didn’t need to profess our love yet!The latter was a slower and more difficult process.Those who were able to find both love and longer-term compatibility stressed that the desire for commitment was less an overwhelming, knock-out feeling, and more of a repeated choice.
My mother, for example, met my father at age 20 and told him she loved him after just two weeks.
But I also thought he was putting too much pressure on the relationship.
I didn’t think there was a set point in time at which we had to be sure about each other.
Other people who found romance a bit later in life said they knew they were in love when they wanted to make sacrifices for the other person—to risk sleep and sickness for them, perhaps (“I have had a cold for the past week because this happened,” as one respondent explained)—or to go through the potentially uncomfortable process of introducing their partners to parents and friends.
The second pattern that emerged was that my interviewees distinguished between the moment they knew they were in love and the moment in which they made a long-term commitment.